The world's only dead serious news source
“How do blind people know when they’re done wiping?” mused a comedian during his stand up performance. If you’re visually impaired, knowing when you’re done wiping is no laughing matter. Wipe Advisors LLC think they have the answer to that age old question.
Anna Chapman, the Russian business woman who was recently deported to her home country from the U.S. for spying, will be cast in a porn movie. Born Anna Kushchenko in Volgograd, according to U.S. authorities, will be using her American alias as her new stage name.
The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) has disclosed that it has been lobbying members of Congress to amend the United States Constitution to provide special rights to fat people.
In response to feedback given by customers in focus groups, Hyatt will be designating 25% of their rooms as “sex-free”. The newly renovated rooms will be completely stripped of fixtures, flooring, and furniture as part of the conversion effort. Hyatt spokesman, Sully Bate, likens the process to becoming a “born again virgin”.