NAAFA lobbies for Constitutional Amendment to extend special rights to fat people

U.S. ConstitutionThe National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) has disclosed that it has been lobbying members of Congress to amend the United States Constitution to provide special rights to fat people.

The proposed Twenty-eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution would make fat people a protected class and afford them special rights.  “NAAFA is throwing its weight behind this effort,”  Frances White, NAAFA’s Co-Chair, announced.  “Fat people are tired of being treated like pariahs.”

Highlights of the proposed Constitutional Amendment include:

  • Fat slurs and jokes would be prosecuted as hate crimes.
  • If needed, airlines would be required to give fat people a second seat free of charge.
  • “Super-size” options would be free for fat people at fast food restaurants.
  • Clothing manufacturers would be required to make their clothes in all sizes.
  • Fat people would be allowed to park in disabled parking spaces without a permit.
  • Beauty pageants would have to allow fat people to compete with no penalty for size.
  • Food manufacturers and restaurants would be prohibited from disclosing the calorie content of their products.
  • Weight loss centers and diet products would be outlawed.

“Now that the majority of the American population is overweight or obese, it’s high time that we stop letting skinny people oppress us,” White added.