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Department of Energy scientists have discovered a way to help reduce America’s dependence on imported oil by taking advantage of the current obesity epidemic. “We like to think of it as making lemonade out of lemons”, announced the DOE spokeman at a news conference. “The supply of skinfold cheese needed to make biofuel is virtually […]
Determined not to stand by while his wife fights childhood obesity with her “Let’s Move” campaign, President Obama has targeted obesity among whites. The goal of the “Rhythm Project” is not only to reduce the waistlines of white Americans, but also to promote racial harmony. “If I can instill some rhythm in white folk, then […]
In the grips of a serious financial crisis, Greece needs to find creative ways to bring in more tax revenue. The Greek Tourism Board is determined to make its contribution to the effort. As part of a $10 million advertising campaign, the Greek Tourism Board has hired Ellen DeGeneres as its spokesperson. DeGeneres is pitching […]
In protest of Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign to fight childhood obesity, the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, or NAAFA, enlisted all 1,000 of its members in what they hailed as a “Million Pound March”. The protest started a block away from the White House. Concerned over its members, NAAFA set up a feeding station at the […]
President Obama, in a surprise move intent on extending an olive branch to Republicans after a bitter partisan fight over health care reform, has granted a presidential pardon to Larry Craig, the ex-senator from Idaho. Craig pleaded guilty in 2007 to disorderly conduct after being arrested in the men’s room at the Minneapolis-St Paul International Airport […]