Gay soldiers to be issued pink rifles

Pink tactical rifle

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is out for the United States Military, but pink rifles are in.  The Pentagon has placed an order for 100,000 pink tactical rifles which will be made available to all gay servicemen. 

Kim Kardashian: I busted Bieber’s cherry

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian, who recently married Kris Humphries, disclosed to her new husband that she recently took Justin Bieber’s virginity.

‘Elephant Man’ sues sign twirling company

Elephant Man sign twirler

Jack Meoff, afflicted with Neurofibromatosis or “Elephant man’s disease”, is a role model for his peers.  Unfortunately, Meoff’s employer wants to keep their star employee from showing his face.

Alleged Michele Bachmann sex tape found

Michele Bachmann sex tape

A sex tape of Michele Bachmann has been found, according to an anonymous source within Texas Governor Rick Perry’s presidential campaign.

Glenn Beck: Obama to pay blacks “slave reparations”

Glenn Beck

A day after creating outrage when he compared the Norway shooting victims to “Hitler Youth”, Glenn Beck claimed that President Obama’s debt reduction package contains reparations for slavery.