Earthquake in Japan causes world shortage of Ben Wa balls

Ben Wa Balls

Northern Japan, recently devastated by a 9.0 earthquake, is home to 90% of the world’s production of Ben Wa balls.  The earthquake and subsequent tsunami have all but halted production of this high demand product.

Charlie Sheen takes credit for Japan earthquake

Charlie Sheen

In a bizarre twist to his ongoing meltdown, Sheen sent a tweet to his 2.7 million Twitter followers claiming to have triggered the devastating earthquake in Japan.

Justin Bieber goes on 1,218 tweet rant after Grammy snub

Bieber Grammy snub

Justin Bieber, who lost the Best New Artist Grammy to Esperanza Spalding, vented his frustration on Twitter last night.  Beiber’s fans, who referred to themselves as “Beliebers”, demonstrated their solidarity by re-tweeting their idol’s rants.

Thousands of gay men line up for Verizon iPhone

Gay Men line up for iPhone

Across the country, thousands of scantily clad gay men lined up overnight at Verizon and Apple stores in anticipation of  the Verizon iPhone going on sale today.  Representatives for Apple and Verizon stated that they have been overwhelmed by the response of the gay community.

Super Bowl trophy damaged in drunken shower celebration

Super Bowl Trophy

A close source within the NFL disclosed that the Vince Lombardi Trophy, awarded to the Green Bay Packers for winning Super Bowl XLV, was damaged in their locker room shortly after being awarded.