Charlie Sheen takes credit for Japan earthquake

Charlie SheenIn a bizarre twist to his ongoing meltdown, Sheen sent a tweet to his 2.7 million Twitter followers claiming to have triggered the devastating earthquake in Japan.

“I snapped my fingers and Japan suffered its worst earthquake in history,” tweeted Sheen.  “My Violent Torpedo of Truth will sink the Jew canoes around the world,” Sheen tweeted a short time later.  The subsequent re-tweeting of Sheen’s messages by his followers brought Twitter’s servers to their knees.

Calls to Sheen by Dead Serious News were not returned, but he promised in a press release that more natural disasters would follow at his hands until he is re-hired on Two and a Half Men for $3 million per episode.  The press release ended with, “Chuck Lorre is already responsible for the deaths of thousands in Japan.”  Lorre is the executive producer of Two and a Half Men.

Charlie Sheen announced last Friday that he’s taking to the road with a live tour he’s dubbing the “My Violent Torpedo of Truth / Defeat Is Not an Option Show.”  Where Sheen’s tour would be stopping has yet to be announced.

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