Vacant Baptist church to become biggest gay bar in the world

Baptist Church

A vacant Baptist church in Colorado Springs, Colorado is about to become the largest gay bar in the world, according to its new owners, a consortium of interior designers from Manhattan.  The Pikes Peak Queen Baptist Church will be renamed “The Pikes Peak Glory Hole”.

New tool helps blind people with toilet cleanup

WA Wand

“How do blind people know when they’re done wiping?” mused a comedian during his stand up performance.  If you’re visually impaired, knowing when you’re done wiping is no laughing matter.  Wipe Advisors LLC think they have the answer to that age old question.

Hot Russian spy to star in porn movie

Anna Chapman

Anna Chapman, the Russian business woman who was recently deported to her home country from the U.S. for spying, will be cast in a porn movie.  Born Anna Kushchenko in Volgograd, according to U.S. authorities, will be using her American alias as her new stage name.

NAAFA lobbies for Constitutional Amendment to extend special rights to fat people

U.S. Constitution

The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) has disclosed that it has been lobbying members of Congress to amend the United States Constitution to provide special rights to fat people.

Hotel chain to introduce sex-free rooms


In response to feedback given by customers in focus groups, Hyatt will be designating 25% of their rooms as “sex-free”.  The newly renovated rooms will be completely stripped of fixtures, flooring, and furniture as part of the conversion effort.  Hyatt spokesman, Sully Bate, likens the process to becoming a “born again virgin”.