Small start-up cashes in on Camel Toe fad

Camel Toe

Labia implants are the new breast implants.  Collagen injections simply don’t work on the other set of lips.”, Larry Depp states gleefully.  Depp is the CEO of Labia Enhancements, Inc.  A visionary of female cosmetic surgery trends, Depp developed a small silicone implant that is surgically inserted into the labia of women who wish to have fuller lips.  “Our labia implants can give any woman […]

Figure skater loses panties, wows judges and crowd

Ku Chee Lee

Chinese figure skater Ku Chee Lee had an apparent wardrobe malfunction and lost her panties midway through her routine.  A consummate professional, Lee continued to skate receiving a standing ovation from the crowd at the end. 

Anderson Cooper uses child as “human shield”

Anderson Cooper

Anderson Cooper, host of CNN’s AC360, found himself caught in the middle of anti-government riots while filming in Haiti.  With flying rocks coming in from all directions, Cooper picked up a young boy that was standing nearby and held the child in front of him as a human shield while he escaped to safety.  “My […]

Scientists turn skinfold cheese into biofuel

skinfolds

Department of Energy scientists have discovered a way to help reduce America’s dependence on imported oil by taking advantage of the current obesity epidemic.  “We like to think of it as making lemonade out of lemons”, announced the DOE spokeman at a news conference.  “The supply of skinfold cheese needed to make biofuel is virtually […]

President Obama launches “Rhythm Project” to fight obesity among whites

Obama dancing

Determined not to stand by while his wife fights childhood obesity with her “Let’s Move” campaign, President Obama has targeted obesity among whites.  The goal of the “Rhythm Project” is not only to reduce the waistlines of white Americans, but also to promote racial harmony.  “If I can instill some rhythm in white folk, then […]