Faced with an increasing epidemic of obesity in America, Walmart has been hit with a decreasing supply of scooters for its obese customers. The shortage has been so chronic in some areas that two hour waits for a scooter are not uncommon during peak shopping times, leading to a barrage of complaints from their corpulent clientele.
“We buy more food than skinny people, so fat people resent having to wait for a scooter,” protested Bertha Hogwarts, who admits to weighing “a little over 500 pounds”. Walmart would not comment officially on the issue. An inside source, who asked not to be identified, stated that “more scooters were simply not in the budget for 2010”.