Vatican declares Easter will fall on a fixed date

Pope BenedictDismayed by the annual confusion about which day Easter will fall on, Pope Benedict XVI issued a Papal Edict setting the date of all future Easters to April 16th, the same day as his birthday.  Some Catholics expressed outrage at the decision.  Other Catholics looked at the bright side.  “After Easter Mass in St. Peter’s Square, we can all sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to His Holiness”, one passing nun remarked.

There was mixed reaction from other churches.  One Baptist minister, who asked not to be identified, felt that this announcement was just a diversion from the Vatican’s sex abuse scandal.  “The Pope will burn in hell for this!”

“In the future, Easter won’t always fall on Sunday,” observed one astute passer-by.  “Maybe we can all get a three weekend out of it.”