Toilet maker hopes to make ton of cash on obesity epidemic

Large ToiletAccording to recent estimates, approximately 6% of the U.S. population is morbidly obese.  Being a supersized human can create issues when using a standard toilet.  SuperSized Johns, Inc. is hoping to make a crap load of money selling a commode designed especially for people weighing in excess of 400 pounds.

Josh Grogan (pictured) is the C.E.O. of SuperSized Johns.  “We get absolutely heart breaking letters from  supersized human on a daily basis telling us that standard toilets are simply not durable enough,” Grogan explained.  “Morbidly obese people can actually break a toilet from their sheer weight.  Our toilets not only have much bigger seats, but they are reinforced with titanium.”

The drains on SuperSized Johns’ toilets are 80% wider than a standard toilet.  “What goes in, must come out,” Grogan noting that the morbidly obese eat a ton more food than the average human.  “Our toilets are guaranteed not to clog, not matter how big the turd,” Grogan continued.  An optional “hygiene rinse” eliminates the need for reach tools during post cleanup. 

User acceptance testing of SuperSized Johns’ toilets will begin in August at the 41st annual NAAFA convention in San Francisco.