Determined to reduce the incidence of rape in their prisons, the Iowa Department of Corrections have found an inexpensive solution. Standard bars of soap in the showers will be replaced with ‘soap on a rope’.
The Iowa Department of Corrections hired The Sodomy Prevention Group to consult on the matter. The contract, funded with Federal stimulus money, cost the state $3.1 million. Through viewing thousands of hours of security video footage, as well as inmate interviews, The Sodomy Prevention Group determined that approximately 82% of prison rapes started with a dropped bar of soap in the shower. Their findings concluded that soap on a rope would save the state $853,349 annually in inmate medical costs, mostly for hemorrhoid cream.
Critics have been quick to refute the idea, most of whom blame the preponderance of Greco-Roman wrestling and gladiator movies available on the prison’s internal television network. Cyrus MacDuff, a government watchdog, claims that this programming costs the taxpayers of Iowa over $1.8 million per year in royalty fees. “By cutting this programming, taxpayers would save money and stop the advance of the homosexual agenda in Iowa,” claims MacDuff. Prison officials have been quick to refute his assertions, however.
Iowa Department of Corrections officials will be using prison labor to manufacture the soap on a rope. About a quarter of inmates who currently make license plates will be moved over to soap production. Iowans will need to wait a little longer for their license plates as a result.