Egypt cuts internet amid chaos, porn addicts riot

Egyptian porn protestWith Egypt on the brink of anarchy, the Egyptian government has completely cut off internet access to all its citizens.  The action has brought a new wave of protesters to the streets of Cairo-porn addicts.

Previously apathetic to all the anti-government protests, Egypt’s porn addicts have taken to the streets of Cairo in the tens of thousands.  Unable to access their online smut, these dissenters have traded one-handed typing in the privacy of their homes for a one-handed grip on an ax or machete.  Filled with rage and sexual frustration, Egypt’s porn addicts have threatened to sexually mutilate any law enforcement officer that gets in their way.

Egyptian porn site operators, hurt financially by their government cutting off internet access, have been accused by authorities of arming and inciting the protesters.  Abu Kazari, who operates a web site that features videos of nude Egyptian men wrestling camels, denies the assertion.  “My clients would rather sit by their computers and yank their little pharaohs than riot in the streets.”

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