Earth Day 2010: Safety innovations hurting the planet

Earth Day 2010It’s enough to make Charles Darwin turn in his grave.  Bicycle helmets, childproof locks, baby gates, and inflatable armbands are hurting the planet, according to a new United Nations environmental report issued today in celebration of Earth Day 2010.

H.E. Dr. Ali Abdussalam Treki, President of the United Nations General Assembly, was unapologetic in announcing the report’s findings.  “Back in the old days, stupid people would be weeded out of the gene pool at a very early age.  Now due to many child safety products available on the market today, the planet is seeing the increasingly prolific breeding of idiots, imbeciles, halfwits, twits, simpletons,  morons, dolts, and dunces.”

The United Nations environmental report not only cites the overpopulation of Earth as a problem, but also the decreasing average IQ of its inhabitants.  According to the report, “stupid people have 50% more offspring on average, diluting the overall intellectual integrity of the population”. 

In conclusion, the report recommended rolling back safety innovations to allow for natural selection to take place.