The CIA has been monitoring Al Qaeda “chatter” since the well publicized TSA screenings started. The terrorist group is claiming victory, although the underwear bomb failed to detonate. “Americans are having to endure sexual molestation and having their wives and daughters leered at by lesbians,” according to one intercepted Al Qaeda communique. “An exploding suppository, successful or not, will lead to mass rape of the infidels,” an inference to possible cavity searches by the TSA.
A TSA spokesperson refused to comment on the possibility of cavity searches, other than saying “all options were on the table to detect suppository explosive devices.”